I’ll Do What I Want

There’s an old adage: Opinions are like a$$holes - everybody has one, and they all stink.

Sorry for the language, but I didn’t make it up. It seemed to me like everyone wanted to tell me how to live my life. As if I was going to listen. In fact, I’m so belligerent that I usually wanted to do the opposite when I was told what to do. Now that you know a little bit more about me, and probably like me less, I’ll get to the point.

The people around me who really cared about me did tell me what to do. They saw I had a problem, and they wanted to fix it. They all just wanted to have the old me back. They wanted the me that was in control, the me that was nice, the me that was responsible. That me was, unfortunately, being held back by alcohol, way too much of it. So they wanted to offer their solutions. Some of them gave tremendously good advice (in hind sight), and others not so much. But the only thing that really mattered is what I wanted to do.

People aren’t easy to change, certainly not me. In my humble experience, it is us who has to want to change before we will attempt to do so. Once we come to terms with the reality that our lives are not what we intended them to be, that we are not managing our relationship with alcohol very well, then we can start the process of change. Until then, they are all wasting their breath. That isn’t to say that they’re wrong, we’re just not ready.

But when we are ready, well then we have something we can work with. Then we can take the next steps. Then we can start to get our lives back. So do what you want, because you will anyway. But when you come to terms with the idea that you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and make some changes, then it’s time to do what you really want. We all know what you really want isn’t what you are facing right now.